hrm....

I'm restless. Really restless. I just want to read but I feel like I'm trying to project myself more and more into the books I read. I haven't written in a while because I feel like I would show up and complain yet again about not being part of a couple. I'm even tired of that topic. The feeling hasn't lessened, it's stayed at a pretty constant level of desperation. Even more so because I have no idea what to do about the situation. I've tried some on-line options and those haven't panned out. I work with a bunch of women and unavailable men. So....what?

I'm reduced to reading romantic adventure fiction and wishing for a big strong guy to call me baby. Seriously. I hate when I hear people call each other pet names...I don't want to be witness to it. But after I've finished a book and turned out the lights and am trying to fall asleep...I would give just about anything to be cuddled up to someone who when I'm sad, or even when I'm not will just whisper, "it's okay, baby". How pathetic does that make me. Okay, okay, I feel more pathetic than I probably am. sigh

Not much else new right now. I'm vegging at the 'rents until tomorrow morning when I'll head back to teach my class in the a.m. I really don't think I'm going to do it next year. It really tanks my weekend to have to go back and teach on Sunday morning. Oh well. It's an extra $10 a week.

I close my eyes and I can almost...just barely feel his arms around me. sigh

It sucks to be a hopeless romantic, it really does. Effing wedding shows depress the hell out of me.

Dad kinda joked when I moved to my town....it's near a couple of bases. I could meet a guy in uniform. Frankly, I don't want to be a military wife. I admire military spouses. They put up with sooooooo much. I wouldn't mind someone who's retired from the military....but then again--who the hell am I to be picky. I wish I had the nerve to go to a bar on my own.

I'm depressing myself....I jot more later.